I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
then he tried to convert me to islam
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
