My liver just broke up with me...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
