i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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