I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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