I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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