so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
