We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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