Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize