whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
