so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's blow job season.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
