you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
