remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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