so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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