Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
