I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
