I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize