cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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