Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
