so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
