So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think my moral compass just broke
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
