Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize