It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
