Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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