i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
