This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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