Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
