now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
