Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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