I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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