i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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