I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
