They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
