My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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