Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
