didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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