Small penises have feelings too.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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