I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
