I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I look better un-naked...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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