let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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