I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize