Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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