whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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