Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I didn't notice because vodka
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
