Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
