Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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