I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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