I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
