seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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