I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
