Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think a kid would responsible me up
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
