a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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