Where is the hickey?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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