Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
