Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
