Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
