you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
