I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize