fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
