There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
