A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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