that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize