i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
