Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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