theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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