She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
