No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
