So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
