he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
