What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
