the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize