Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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