Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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