Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
