): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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