I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
