I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
