I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
