So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
