So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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