Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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