I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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