come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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