doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
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